7 Things I’ve Learned This Year

We are counting down until the new decade, can you believe 2020 is less than 11 days away; Time has really flown by and this got me reflecting back on the year so far and what I have learned. I have listed 7 top lessons that I want to share with you that has supported me in having a great year and to continue through 2020.
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1. No two days are the same- This is something I’ve had to remind myself constantly when a particular day doesn’t go to plan. Just because you might have had a bad day doesn’t mean that tomorrow will be the same. When life presents you with something,  you get to choose how you react, you are in control of your emotions and feeling. By simply switching the thought, language and emotion you can transform your reality.
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2. Don’t beat yourself up- This kind of goes hand in hand with the first one, when reflecting on a past experience that could have been handled a different way, don’t overthink and beat yourself up about it. There was a reason why that particular situation went the way it did, because at that moment you were living your truth and what felt authentic to you. It is also a great learning experience in what you would do differently if the same situation presented itself again.
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3. Celebrate your wins – 2019 was the year for achievements for everyone whether small or big, I saw so many people online and in real life celebrating their wins. Even I was celebrating and usually, I find it difficult because I constantly think about what I could have done better ( the perfectionist in me). Celebrating your highlights is such a great way to boost self-esteem and confidence within yourself (how ironic that little mix-power is playing in the background while I write).
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4. Smile and Laugh- Smile and laugh as many times as you can. Laugh until your belly is aching, that is the best laugh!
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5. Take time out for you- Take time to do things for you. I can’t stress enough that when you take time out for yourself you are reengerising your physical and mental self. Doing something you enjoy also spark creativity and inspiration for any projects you might have started or wanted to start.
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6. Step out your comfort zone- What the saying… ”Everything you want is on the other side of fear” and it’s so true. Stepping into the unknown can be uncomfortable for many reasons, but when you take that big leap of faith the reward you reap is amazing.
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7. Be your authentic self- We are often told we have to present a certain way of ourselves to different people for them to engage or like us but, when you lose who you are, it can be very detrimental to your identity. You start to have conflicting messages about who you really are and what you like. Being authentically yourself is to stand in your truth and not be swayed if someone does not like it.
What did you learn in 2019?

 

Live a powerful life X

Are You Suffering From Imposter Syndrome?

What is imposter syndrome and how to combat it.

Imposter syndrome is that niggling feeling that your achievement is due to sheer of luck or it’s a fluke so you downplay it and when you receive praise and compliments, you feel like a fraud; a feeling of the idea that you did not work as hard as everyone’s praising you for. The term was coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in the 70’s, they observed a bunch of high achieving women and when they spoke to them, they told Pauline and Suzanne that they felt inadequate in their career or in general.  Imposter syndrome does not discriminate and can take form in anyone. You might have experienced imposter syndrome and/or currently experiencing this feeling and not known what it’s called.

There are 5 types of imposter syndrome:

 

1.The perfectionist- The perfectionist is someone who focuses on getting everything meticulous. If it’s not 100% they tend to feel like their world has fallen apart. As a result of this, a perfectionist feels like a failure.

 

2. The expert- The pressure that the expert puts on to themselves is the idea that they must know anything and everything. They need to be tooled up with information and knowledge even if its insignificant/unnecessary information. When they feel a lack of knowledge on their part, they feel a sense of shame and beat themselves up because they believe they should have known.

 

3. The soloist– The soloist believes to get anything done correctly or on time it needs to be done by themselves. This type of person reframes from asking for help because they see it as a sign of weakness.

 

4. The natural genius– The natural genius holds on to the idea that they need to know something straight away. The thought of taking a while to understand a skill or subject is not apart of this type of person thought pattern.

 

5. The super person– Often referred to as the superwomen/man or student. This type of person judges their ability on how many things they can take on without asking for any help. Their idea of competence is to juggle everything all at once, hence the name.

 

 

I have been feeling the perfectionist type for the past month hence the lack of blog post. I went into a thought loop of if my post is not 100% perfect then there is no point in putting it out and I would feel like I’ve let you all down. It one I am still battling with but over the past week or so, I am learning to let go and trust. Trust that through my work people will hear my message, it doesn’t have to be perfect because there is no such thing!

 

As it’s a new month, I would like you to promise yourself this December that you will celebrate every success you achieve this month, you will actively seek to learn something new and  if you need extra support-ASK! people are there to support you.

 

Live a harmonious life x

 

 

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR FREQUENCY

 

When you are stuck in a rut it is so difficult to get yourself out of it. 

Have you ever stuck to a healthy eating habit and then one day fell off, then the more you consumed unhealthily, the more sluggish and in-active you felt. I know I have been there before. My mind and body, in the beginning, start to get comfortable with what I’m consuming and it becomes enjoyable until I start seeing the results such as putting on weight and feeling slow and then I realise I am vibrating on a frequency that does not do me any justice.

When you resonate at a lower frequency you indulge in things that are not good for you because you seek comfort in these things in contrast to when you are vibrating at a high frequency your mood lifts, more opportunities come your way and you become more grateful.

For a moment I want you to think about what frequency you are vibrating on.

In different areas of our lives we can be frequenting much higher than others and once recognised we can lift the energy so in all areas of our lives we can vibrate on the highest frequency.

Did you know, the human body vibrates on Megahertz (MHz) this is the number of frequencies that occur in a second. A healthy body frequency measures at 62-73MHz, when we start to get ill or weak our frequency drops to 58MHz which results in illness. If our body suddenly drops below that around 42MHz, that is a case of cancer cells in the body and anything below 42MHz is a sign of becoming much weaker and fragile which can affect the longevity of a person.

 

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We want to be frequenting between 62-73MHz so, how do we do that? Below are some examples to get you in a high vibe state!

  • Food/Drinks – What we consume is a huge factor in how we feel physically and emotionally. Eating processed food, junk food, dairy products and meat(3-5MHz) can lower your frequency. I am not saying to completely cut off these things you eat but be aware of what you consume and how many times in a day/week/month. To increase your vibration increase on the amount of natural, raw, organic foods you eat, for example, fruits, vegetables (70MHz) or nuts(almonds is 50MHz). I am not here to preach and say do not eat meat or dairy but perhaps be aware of the food you are consuming, by simply changing smalls habits in your routine you can vibrate on a healthy frequency. In addition to food, caffeine and alcohol can considerably lower your frequency. Ever woken up after a night out and feel completely deflated and sad? That is your frequency being lowered which affects your mind, body, and environment, it is all connected.

 

  • Thoughts- Our thoughts ultimately connect to anything on this list, when we feel sad, lonely or depressed we frequent at such low energy which invites more negative thoughts, feelings, experiences. I think we can all say we have felt some type of low energy before and actually as humans we need to feel different emotions, you cant experience happy with sadness and vice versa but, when it’s a constant ongoing emotion that is a sign that for professional medical assistance. However, increasing your frequency can be so simple, listing 5 things that you’re grateful for can level you up, a random act of kindness, my favourites laughing and dancing, moving your body changes the way you feel. Change your language- stop using any self-sabotaging language as I cant, I will never, opt for I will, I can or I have.

 

  • Essential oil- Essential oil can enhance your wellbeing and has a feel-good element to it (here is a list of what each essential oil frequents at). To feel the ultimate high vibe whenever you feel a shift start carrying some essential oil around with you and see how different you feel. Essential oils range from 40-320MHz, Rose oil vibrates at the highest 320MHz. If using a diffuser please be aware of using it near any pets especially cats.because it's ll about the

 

  • Doing something you enjoy- Getting back to hobbies you enjoy is a great way to higher your vibration or perhaps start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to do. Always wanted to learn a new language, do some DIY craft making or learn calligraphy.

 

  • Spend time with high vibe people- When someone is radiating positive energy, you can’t help but want to be around them, you want to match their energy. As the great techniques of Law of Attraction, like attracts like so if you spend time with the people who have high vibes or the people you love, it will instantly raise your vibration.

 

 

Live a harmonious life X

CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR TOXIC BEHAVIOUR?

What is toxic behaviour and how to spot it, when it’s you?

When we hear the word toxic it is usually to describe a person who has present different behaviour. Toxicity can be recognised through an individual manipulating, making you feel bad or a toxic habit of some kind. When someone is displaying toxic behaviour, it is noticeable and we try to steer away from them. But, what happens when we are the toxic individual? It is harder to recognise our toxic habits because we have engrained into ourself this is who we are, this makeup of ourselves comes from past trauma or experiences we later project on to others. These patterns become so unrecognisable we are too blind to see it. We might see people slowly walk out of our lives or you hear the same comment about yourself from various people. This is a major sign that you might be displaying toxic behaviour. Toxic behaviour can be in many forms, below I have suggested types of toxic habits people might use.

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If you can relate to any of the above habits or recognise other habits within you, then congratulations you are a step further than most people. Becoming aware of something that you have not noticed before brings you in the reflection mode and being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things a person can do. It reveals a hidden truth that you don’t want to admit or did not see. Recognising and being aware of these habits that can often be toxic will allow you to enter the phase of self reflection, self reflection is an on going process, a true and honest way of growing mentally and emotionally. Reflection and adaptation also allows you to create healthier relationships between yourself and others.

Sit down with yourself and identify what toxic behaviours/habits you possess. Once you’ve written that down, think about how this has affected your relationships over the year. Have you heard the same comment about yourself from different people? Be super transparent with yourself, no matter how much it hurts. From the identification stage, it is time to work on changing that pattern that you have become accustomed to.

 

Stay Grounded X

New Beginnings

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

September is a time of change from a new month, new season and for many people new school, a different year/grade or a new position. September is part 2 of a new year, it’s a time of change. Even the seasons change, now we are in the midst of autumn/fall(dependant on where you are located in the world). Autumn/fall is the transitional period where the leaves change colour and the temperature starts getting cooler but the sun is still peeking through. It’s a sign of renewal and that’s what I feel September brings, a new phase in your life where things are new. Every day, week and month is a new experience of change and renewal as we are constantly doing at least one thing differently to the previous day. Once you realise that change/renewal is constant, you’ll be less fearful of the big changes like a career change, moving to another city/state or a new school.

For me, change represents movement and not being stagnant. I was feeling stagnant in my old job and I wanted to experience something new and luckily, I was able to change jobs doing something completely different to what I was previously doing. The idea of change used to scare me but, once I realise when new opportunities arrive, it is there to challenge me, maximise my knowledge, skills, and growth I knew I could not let that miss me by. Although there might be periods where I will be scared of the uncertainty, I will welcome it with open arms because I know in the future I can look back and say I done that instead of I wish I done that.

So if you’re in a transition in your life where there are changes around you, remember that new energy, opportunities are entering your life. Think of it as a rebirth, a rebirth of the highest version of yourself

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”– Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Stay Grounded X

THE BEAUTY OF SCRIPTING

Nothing comes to you unless you’re super clear with your words and actions. Tell me, what do you want?

I love a good list. I am list mad, shopping list, goals list, to-do list or worklist. Give me something and I will make it into a list. I find that I enjoy ticking off a completed task and reviewing the list with all ticks gives me a feel-good mood.
I also find that writing out exactly what I want helps me get more of a clearer understanding of what I want in the future. This is why I want to share with you the art of scripting.
Scripting is a law of attraction technique, it is about declaring what you want and being detailed in the things you want to see in your future. It is such a simple task that it sounds too simple to be true.

Here’s a question for you… What is the ultimate dream?

How do you want to feel in a year, 2 years, 5 years?

What do you want your life to look like in X amount of years?
You can have it all by simply writing it down and declaring to yourself and the higher power what you truly want. The hack is to be super detailed and specific, if it’s a new car that you want, what colour, shape, what kind of mod-cons do you want in this car? Built-in sat-nav, parking sensor, leather interior?. Be as specific as you can!

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Is it a new friendship you want to attract? Do you want this person to be a good communicator, a caring person, a generous person, someone you can be vulnerable with?

The things you want in life is endless and it all starts with a list. MAKE THIS LIST AND THEN LET GO OF THE LIST….Let go? Huh? Yes, let go of the idea. The more you attach to this list, the more you are repelling it from your reality. When you let go and forget the universe works ten folds for you to have it sooner than you think.

I am full living proof that scripting works and is real! In the past, I have scripted a list of what I want my future job, life, friendships to look like and everything on that list has come true. I once made a list and put it somewhere so safe that I couldn’t remember where I placed it and only remember 2 things off the list. Eventually, when I found it( a month later) everything that I wanted came true. A quick disclaimer too, if something doesn’t resonate with you on that list a week later, do not worry because you can always update it.
A refresher that you need to know about scripting:

 

 

  • Sit down and truly think about what you want

 

  • Reach for the pen and paper in a comfortable place and write down what you want in your life

 

  • Be specific and if you don’t know exactly, write down the feelings you want to emanate

 

  • Fold the piece of paper up and place it somewhere safe

 

  • Forget about it

 

  • Let the universe take control

 

 

Stay Grounded X

THE ADVANTAGE OF A GROWTH MINDSET

What is the true benefit of having a growth mindset.

In my recent post, I gave a beginner crash course of the terms fixed and growth mindset. Now we’re going to delve into the long-lasting benefits from having a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

A recap of the fixed mindset- Is a person who has a setback and as a result, feels like the world is attacking them through interaction they experience throughout the day. They often look at their misfortune as a failure.

The fixed mindset can have a person stuck, unable to unlock their potential because they are focused on getting something ‘perfect’, right or being successful. When the outcome they expect does not come into fruition, they beat themselves up for it.
For example, A women called Sally takes a numeracy test for her to become a qualified teacher, she sits the exams and within a few weeks, she gets the results back. The result is in and she finds out she has not passed, Sally was 5 marks away from passing. Sally was convinced that she would pass and now is feeling worthless and like a failure, because she has not passed.
People who believe their failures equate to their self worth tend to strive more for perfection because one test/experience determines their smartness. This causes detrimental feelings of feeling inadequate unless they are succeeding. This can start from as early as childhood, a remark that was once said about you not succeeding can result in a lifetime of trying to succeed and not feeling like the 5-year-old you.

If you’re currently in a fixed mindset, fear not! You can change your mindset to help you become the greatest version of your conscious and subconscious self.

On the other hand, a growth mindset is seen as a process, a continual line of improvement, a place where a person’s ability is not limited and their setbacks do not correspond to their being. Through learning successful and ‘failing’ experiences, these types of people can learn from the lessons and apply what they’ve been taught in a new direction. When something is a challenge for them, they thrive on putting in the effort and reaching the outcome through creative risks. They are not worried what people say because they know in their hearts they going to reach their goal and no set back will defeat that.

A person with a growth mindset can:

  • Improve on feedback and criticism they have been told

 

  • Complete difficult task

 

  • Not give up and put effort into a task

This is a habit we should all be forming if we want to be more intentional with our minds.

Below are tips and reminders on upgrading your mindset:

  • Remember growth over success. Your failures do not define you as a person

 

  • ‘Every rejection is a redirection‘. Just because you’ve had a setback, does not mean you are failing and you should give up.

 

  • It takes time and patience. This is not an overnight formed habit, it requires a lot of patience.

 

  • As humans we are constantly learning, what would life be like if we knew everything already. Where would the feeling of growth and achievement be?

 

 

It’s time to unlock your full potnetial X

FIXED MINDSET VS GROWTH MINDSET

”There is no failure. Only feedback.” – Robert Allen

You’ve might have heard these two terms but never knew what they explicitly mean. The fixed and growth mindset derives from Dr. Carol Dweck, who believe that humans carry two types of mindsets and how we experience life can be effective by the types of mindset we have. She is known for her work in psychology especially in human interaction and understanding peoples beliefs about their intelligence.

I’m here to give you a little crash course in what the two are and the benefits of having one type of mindset over another.

So what exactly is fixed and growth mindset?

A fixed mindset is having an outcome not turn out how a person expects and feeling like a complete failure and as a result of this feeling, every other experience, and interaction they have throughout the day, results in the same feeling of reject, the feeling the worlds out to get them and worthless. It is quite common for people with anxiety to have these reoccurring thoughts that can spiral out into days, weeks or even a month.
This feeling of failure can have a person reacting through overthinking or engaging in unhealthy substance to suppress their feelings for example, Alcohol drugs.

What is a growth mindset:
A growth mindset is having an outcome not turn out how a person might have expected but understanding that it is not the end of the world and the result they have will either push them to work differently, take inspired action from the outcome, see what they can do to improve or seek help. It’s about acknowledging the experiences and instead of blaming your self-worth, you take the movement to change your reality.

Which category do you think you are in? 

Fixed mindset, Growth mindset or Both?

 

 

 

 
Stay tuned to find out how you can benefit from changing to a growth mindset.
Be True, Be You X

WHY DO WE RUSH THROUGH LIFE?

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” -Lao Tzu

Why are we in such a rush to have the ideal career, relationship, marriage, car, life experience? We are under the impression that we have to successfully achieve our life achievements in a period frame of 5 years, when your’e in your early to mid twenties. Even on a smaller scale, the tendency to speed walk, rush to eat lunch, rush our work. Time is not running out, there is no measure of time it just keeps going. It doesn’t help when we see people we’ve either grown up with or view people via social media, achieving the things we want to achieve. But, it’s ok, you are not competing with that person, you’re comparing their chapter 50 to your chapter 2. To achieve any results in life we need to have passion, perseverance and strength, not everything you achieve is going to be plain sailing but, when viewing other highlights this is not what is seen.

I have been a culprit of being in this limiting mindset myself, sometimes I catch myself thinking a thought and quickly have to take myself out of that mind frame because it boils down to this ‘what is the rush?’. I always wonder if I had everything I ever wanted handed to me right now, would I appreciate it? It’s like the old saying ‘trust the process’ to fully appreciate what you want, you have to go through a journey and like I said before it might not be plain sailing but after going through it and achieve your desire, you appreciate the hard work that was put into it ( I might be going on a tangent here but, I believe it does have some relevance).

It’s easy to adopt this habit as our ego feeds into the negative self talk of ourselves and it seeks to find things related so it confirms our understanding. We are in a constant battle between ourselves and our environment to rush and experience things.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when you find your self overthinking an rushing:

  • Goals/ life experiences whatever you want will take time, enjoy the process. When you get the results you will appreciate it even more.
  • Like I previously mentioned, stop comparing your experiences to someone else highlight. They put the same amount of effort into their dreams that you have. Don’t be discouraged. Be inspired. Know that is possible
  • Have faith- Know that everything you are working towards will become a reality
  • Remember no matter what age you are currently, you have more than 20 years on this earth to experience everything you want. So what’s the rush?
  • Enjoy every moment of your life because you won’t have this experience again. Change that attitude to gratitude

 

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” -Lao Tzu

Stay Grounded X

WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS

When one door closes, another door will open. How do you trust the process?

 

If you’ve ever visited or currently live in London you’ll notice at each station there is a board with a thought of the day consisting of quotes, a riddle or a fun message to spread to the public.
Recently, I saw a quote and the first half struck me, it stated ‘’When one door closes, another one opens’’. And it’s so true. When we don’t get the results we want, we automatically start to think about what we could have done better or different but, we never stop to think that by us not getting that outcome, we are being redirected into the opportunity that is meant for us. As cliche as it sounds, it holds some weight to it. If an opportunity or experience is meant for you, it won’t see you by.
So if you’re feeling knocked back by rejection, consider that you are being aligned to the right thing for you. Trust that everything works in your favour!!

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Stay Grounded X