WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

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We all have certain silent languages that evoke love within us when we receive something, some might feel good when they spend quality time with others while others love a cuddle. This introduction to love languages was coined by Gary Chapman who introduces to us that there are 5 types of languages and by knowing your love language and loved ones loved languages ( that was a mouthful), we can form a better understanding within our relationships. Love languages can help identify and solve conflict within a relationship and even bring relationships together.

The 5 types of loves languages are:

Act of service- Act of service is related to someone doing a service that the person would like, an example of this is doing food shopping or cleaning the house.

Physical gift- Physical gift is about receiving gifts and having an appreciation of that person giving you a gift. For example, your partner gets you a gift and you think aww they thought about me during this time that they got me a gift.

Words of affirmation- Words of affirmation is anything said to uplift a person, for example, it can be ‘You are glowing today’ to ‘I am so grateful you are in my life’.
Physical touch- Any physical touch that expresses love such as touching, holding hands, cuddles, physically being near to someone to sex.
Quality time- the Quality time is time spent together, giving each other that undivided attention, embracing their presence and fully committing to it. This takes form in watching tv together, going out to restaurants or bars.
Now you know what the 5 types are, I am going to tell you how you can use this to your advantage.
Learning about your love languages will make you have an awareness and understanding of how you like to be loved and treated. Once you have an understanding of your love language and the 5 types, you will start to see how others like to be treated. Love languages are not solely based on a romantic relationship, it can be in friendships, family, colleagues. It’s a true indication of how a person likes to feel.

To find out your love language all you need to do is take a quick quiz. The quiz questions are based on statements that you think best describe you. In the end, it will be ranked what is your top primary love language is and how much you scored. Sometimes you might have two love languages ranked the same number and that is totally fine.

Below I will show you what my main love languages are, I took this back 2017 and took it again and it’s still the same. I am so fascinated with finding out what other people’s love languages are, I’m surprised I have not done this post sooner.

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So, what is your love language

Live a harmonious life X

How To Take Control Of Your Thoughts

The mind is a powerful tool it can revisit experiences you thought you have overcome, it can even turn a positive situation into a negative within a matter of seconds, it can also bring you into an emotional state of anxiety. If you are an over thinker who manages to nitpick every experience or scenario, you will know what I am talking about. As an over-thinker myself I have witnessed how powerful my thoughts can spiral out of control by over analysing every situation and reacting to the thought as reality.

Eckhart Tolle in one of his books A new earth explains the science behind how emotions are created and I have broken it down in it’s simplest form.

You think a thought  > the thought gets filtered through your own interpretation > You create a mini story to go with that thought because your mind can not filter the difference between a thought and the reality   > Your body responds to that thought with an emotion   > This is how your thoughts create your emotion

When I first saw this sequence I thought yes, of course that is how it works but after pondering on it for a few moments and replacing the sequence with an example of a thought that has led me to a particular emotion, I soon came to realise how easy the domino effect it has; once you think of a thought and it gets blown out of proportion. Since then it has blown my mind and now I take extra care when a thought pops into my head to steer away from me creating a scenario that is far from the reality.

Now as for how to control your thoughts; Once you understood the sequence on how thoughts and emotions are created you will pay more attention to stopping the cycle from continuing. For example, a thought can be ‘ My friends don’t like me’, your body responds to the thought with feeling alone and sad even though you are surrounded by your friends but you have created this altered reality based on past experiences or a shift of tone or body language.  Before you replay that experience in your head looking for confirmation of that thought, think about the sequence I have shown you and ask yourself has this really happened or is it my thoughts creating a new story from the reality.

Once you understand the foundations on how to control your thoughts, you approach things differently because I know I certainly have when it comes to my thoughts taking over. It’s quite a hard complexity to get your head around, so if you don’t get it the first time don’t be disheartened, just re-read this post over and over again and you will suddenly have the light bulb moment .

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Stay Grounded X

Living In The Moment

You might have noticed that I have not been blogging much or sharing pictures and videos on my social media and that’s because I have been living in the moment. It’s so easy to fall into the hole of uploading every second of our lives to social media but, in that short moment between uploading something and finding the perfect caption; you have missed so many beautiful moments around you.  When you live in the present moment, the past and the future is irrelevant, right here right now, is all that counts! Being mindfully present allows you to appreciate your surroundings more which effectively makes you feel happier, calmer and less anxious.

Ever heard of the old saying ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’. I sometimes take pictures during a moment but I don’t upload them anywhere, I keep them in a folder so that I can go back and reminisce on how amazing that moment felt to me. What’s quite funny is that by looking back at a picture, you find a lot of things that you did not notice because you’re too busy focusing on one particular thing.

The next time you are walking, driving or at a social event; pay close attention to what’s around you, listen to the sounds, observes the people, notice to the energy in the space.  Find the appreciation in the moment you are experiencing, do not worry about what you have to do in the future because all of that can wait. The best way to enjoy life is to be present.

Try and start capturing moments with your eyes rather than your phone, you’ll be surprised at what you discover!

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Stay Grounded X

Self- Love On A Deeper Level

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Often the definition of self love defines itself as individually doing an activity that brings the best feeling out of yourself or being in a positive frame of mind masked in happiness and love. However, when discussing self-love I don’t hear about the process of how hard it can be and the acknowledgement of the discomfort of what self love really means.

The self love where you identify where you’re going wrong and what you are going to do in order to change it. Self love is not just about taking a bubble bath or having a marathon on Netflix, its also about taking accountability for the actions you portray to yourself and others. Don’t get me wrong, we all love a bubble bath and a series binge on Netflix and it does make us feel happy but, there’s another side to the coin.   I often wonder why people never talk about the process and my conclusion is that they don’t want to become vulnerable to themselves. Vulnerability is courage and for you to identify your mishaps, you are learning the core values of what self love means by acknowledging the areas where you’ve gone wrong and shifting that energy into a positive light. Once that shift in acknowledgement happens, that when the real light starts to shine within you.

It’s an uncomfortable process,  I know I’ve been there many times where I’ve had to acknowledge my wronging but, through that process I have learnt to not let myself be consumed in that negative vibe and take full accountability for my actions.  Think of a plant, in order for it to blossom they need to shred a few dead leaves for them to flourish. This goes for you! Without the shredding of things that are hindering you, you will never grow and find a deeper understanding of self love. I hope this make sense.

So. What can I do, I hear you say.

The first and biggest thing you can do is identify where things are not as good as it can be.

  • Pick an area in your life whether its relationships, work or personal ( something to do with you and only you) and start to write down what the biggest problem is.

 

  • Once you’ve identified the problem ask yourself if you have taken full accountability for this action. If the answer is no, spend some time thinking about what can do to change this.

 

  • Through the self identifying stage start to think and write down how you can take it forward in correcting your actions.

 

  • Actions speak louder than words. It’s all well and good writing these down but the fundamentally change in this behaviour is action.

This is very complex and a lot of work; if you fall back into your old habits, don’t be disheartened. It takes being vulnerable to evoke courage and change.

If you would like to see a part 2 on self love, please let me know!

 

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Stay Grounded X

How To Manifest

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If you are new to the world of manifestation, you might be thinking I’m insane or that I’m talking rubbish but as you read further on it will become clearer and clearer and before you know it, you’ll be manifesting things you thought were impossible.

As humans we tend to over complicate things that enter our minds due to complexity of the thoughts.

We often ask why can’t it be simple? and the truth is…. it is always simple, it’s us who over complicate things.

Manifest: Thinking something into existence as if it’s already here.

I know you might be thinking, how can I manifest something without it being physically here? ah ha! Thats the beauty of manifesting. You speak what you want into existence and act as if it’s your reality.

Have you ever thought about that cool top you wanted but it was a bit too pricey but when you went to try it on, it was on discount so you could buy it. That is what you call manifestation.  Manifesting your dream into a reality.

Since learning about manifestation, I have welcomed a lot of things in my reality from receiving free meals to receiving money. The list is endless with the amount of things you can manifest. Nothing is off limits.

It’s as simple as 1, 2, 3!!!

Now it’s your turn

1. Close your eyes & think of a goal/dream/accomplishment/thing that you want to manifest.

e.g. A new phone, a new job, a new item of clothing

2. Think about what you can see, touch, hear when receiving this goal. How does it make you feel( emotionally)?

3. Spend a few moments on the thought

4. Open your eyes and say a gratitude mantra

eg. Thank you universe for what I have received. I am truly grateful for [insert goal].

5. Let go of the thought. Do not over think it & continue with your day.

Let go, did you say? You just told me to think about it.

This is truly one of the difficult stages when manifesting. Like I said before, us humans tend to over think things. When we let go of what we are manifesting, we send it out to the universe to deal with. All we do now, is be ready to receive. Once we receive it, be sure to show gratitude to receiving this goal & continue to keep those high vibes up.

I would love to hear stories about things you have manifested in the past or what you are going to manifest.

Please message me via social media so we can have a little chat 🙂

 

=sould

 

Be Bold, Be Strong, Be You X

The Mirror Challenge

I was surfing the internet when I came across a Ted Talk seminar about self image and the deception of perfectionism. In a previous post I recently shared the stigma about being a self-proclaimed perfectionist,and how I work every day to beat that reoccurring thoughts/images in my mind.

Iskra Lawrence is an ambassador for self love and self confidence. Expressing her views and statistic on photoshop and being confident in the skin your in.

In the seminar she questions the audience on how many times you’ve ever looked in the mirror and instantly scrutinize your insecurities.

In that moment I felt a big pang in my heart as I know I subconsciously do it without realising. Its like the more you stare at that imperfection, the more bigger it gets.

I know I’m not alone in doing this either!

This known fact made me realised I need to rewire my brain to consciously catch this loathing thought and change it into a more loving feeling.

This technique can be for gaining self confidence within yourself from your physical to your emotional confidence.

Each morning when you look at yourself in the mirror, I want you to express 3 qualities you admire about yourself.

This can be from your admiration of yourself, to what supportive family and friends say about you, but you have to truly believe it ( that’s the key).

After this affirmation, I want you to celebrate by having a little dance.

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Celebrate the things that make you. You!!

 

Thank You for following

Be Bold, Be Strong, Be you x

Law Of Attraction- 17 Second Technique

 

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Here’s another Law of Attraction post, as you know I am obsessed with the law of attraction and learning new techniques while implementing the ones I already know just brings me more knowledge and more joy.

Recently, I discovered the 17 second technique by Abraham Hicks & I’ve been fascinated ever since reading upon this technique.

Abraham Hicks created this amazing technique in order to manifest your dreams into a reality.  When trying to manifest or focus purely on what you truly desire ,having 17 seconds of pure intentional thoughts will not only raise your vibrations but keep you more focus on the goal/desire.

Our minds are set up in a complex manner where we think one thought and as soon as we are in the middle of that a thought, another thought attaches itself to it, creating a positive or negative reaction. With 17 seconds of pure high intentional thoughts we can change our mood around just like that.

Hick’s analogy is:

17seconds= 2,000 energy increase

68 seconds= 2,000,000 energy increase ( That is enough for your manifestation to start becoming a reality)

17 seconds + 17 + 17 + 17=68 seconds (roughly 1minute & 7 second)

68 seconds of pure thoughts for your manifestation to take place! It seems so easy right?? Because it is.

How to implement this technique:

  1. Sit/lie down in a comfortable place where you will have no distraction and close your eyes and vision how this goal will unfold. Think about how it makes you feel, what the goal means to you etc.

 

2. Every morning or evening ( depending on your mood) you can implement this technique for 68 seconds….because really and truly, we all can take 68seconds out of our day

And that is literally it…..Told you it was easy

Happy VictoriaDay to you, bud!

Be Bold, Be Strong, Be you x

Life Goals

What are your future life goals?

Now I know that is a very deep question and you most probably didn’t answer it because you don’t know yourself. But, did you know it is ok not to know what your life goals are!.

Everyday you are transforming to become the best version of yourself and that requires a different mindset and new goals. Which means the goals you set last month, will be completely different to the goals you have this month.

I’ll tell you a little story:

In January I created a vision board which was filled with a lot different things and I framed it and stuck it on my wall. Every morning and night I would look at it and visualise what it would be like to have everything I wanted in the present. One night in  early April, I was looking at my vision board in detail and realised I didn’t want the same goals anymore, my mindset and expectation changed. I felt totally guilty that I spent time visualising theses goals and proudly sharing it with all my friends and family and now I don’t want it.

However, I remembered everyday I am elevating and not everything I’m going to stick to. What I needed to remember was that the universe has my back, no matter how many times I chopped and changed my goals list.

So I challenge you to create a vision board, goals list or whatever you call it, of what you want your rest of the year to look like!

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Below are some tips on how to create a vision board:

  1. Pinterest

I am a lover of pinterest as its so simple but captivating, I can get lost in the world of pinterest for hours. In pinterest you can create a board of different images you would like to visualise in your life, from travelling across Asia to simply getting a new pair of shoes.

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This is my pinterest board for travel

  1. List

An effective way to get straight to the point is to write a goals list, it doesn’t have to be a page long, it can be 3 goals max.  Write down a few things you want to achieve. You can write them down on a piece of paper, on your laptop or on your phone like I did.

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  1. Journaling

I am a big believer in journalling and this isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned it in my biog. Just by writing a day in the life of the goals that you want to achievements gives a sense of visualisation and gratitude towards your goal.

I have done this before with a goal that I was trying to achieve and so far what I wrote has literally foreseen itself in the present today, so take it from me it does work.

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Now, don’t forget my challenge!

Until next time,

Be Bold, Be Strong, Be you x

Appreciating Others

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Do you have those friends or family members who are just filled with joy and happiness & every time you see them you know you’re going to be going back home with an instant 6 pack . The day is filled with so much laughter and love that in that moment you really  appreciate their company. That feeling….is the feeling of appreciation, appreciating someone you value. 

Most of the times we don’t tell our special person how much we value them for being in our lives ( I’m guilty of it as well).

So I’ve got a challenge for you!- Tell that special friend, family member, boyfriend etc that you appreciate them!!

Below are a few tips on how you can show your loved one how much you value them:

1.Words- Say I love and appreciate you. Let them know that you are thankful their in your life.

2. Do a random act of kindness- Pay for their meal/drink when out. Gift them with something meaningful that represents the relationship.

3. Honesty- Be honest with them, like they say honesty is the best policy. If your not honest with them, it shows a lack of trust and love.

4. Pay attention- Listen carefully to everything they say. You’ll start to notice their habits or the way their face lights up when talking about something their passionate about. Don’t talk with the intent to reply, reply with the need to understand.

5.Loving hugs- Give your special person a long heartfelt hug- it is shown that if you hug someone for long than 20 second, it increase the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin which reduces stress levels and has a huge benefit on the heart.

6.Encouragement- Encourage your loved one by letting them be the best version of themselves. Show your support and love for them.

7.Compliment them- If they’ve started a new activity or just slaying in life . Tell them! shower them with words of praise.

Until next time…..

Thank you x

 

Be Bold, Be Strong, Be you x

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

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We’ve all been through the never ending cycle.  You know…the one where we get into a habit of comparing ourselves to others while discrediting the achievements we have personally made. Yes! that never ending cycle.

We (I’m including myself in this) naturally do it without realising. Many of the sayings we might have personally said or heard friends say such as, ”I wish I was skinny like her” , ” If I had X amount of money like this person, I would be so happy” or the famous line ” I want to get 1000’s of likes on Instagram like this person”.

Like I said before I am guilty of this but, we should not discredit what we’ve accomplished. Through our own individual journeys, we have experienced so much growth and accomplishments. We need to remember everyone has a story, do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 10. Looks can be very deceiving, you can think an achievement can happen overnight but behind the scenes they can be grafting for a long time. We need to start celebrating our achievements even if it’s small. That extra 2minutes of exercise you just did….celebrate it!!

I want to share with you a few tips on how to stop comparing yourself:

  • Compare yourself to yourself – The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self.

 

  • Trust the process- Everything takes time, just be patient.

 

  • Be happy- Be happy with the growth you are making, you are doing brilliantly

 

  • Trust the universe- The universe has your back

 

  • Daily chants- Try saying this positive chant everyday- ”I am striving to become the person I want to be”

 

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Be Bold, Be Strong, Be you x