WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

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We all have certain silent languages that evoke love within us when we receive something, some might feel good when they spend quality time with others while others love a cuddle. This introduction to love languages was coined by Gary Chapman who introduces to us that there are 5 types of languages and by knowing your love language and loved ones loved languages ( that was a mouthful), we can form a better understanding within our relationships. Love languages can help identify and solve conflict within a relationship and even bring relationships together.

The 5 types of loves languages are:

Act of service- Act of service is related to someone doing a service that the person would like, an example of this is doing food shopping or cleaning the house.

Physical gift- Physical gift is about receiving gifts and having an appreciation of that person giving you a gift. For example, your partner gets you a gift and you think aww they thought about me during this time that they got me a gift.

Words of affirmation- Words of affirmation is anything said to uplift a person, for example, it can be ‘You are glowing today’ to ‘I am so grateful you are in my life’.
Physical touch- Any physical touch that expresses love such as touching, holding hands, cuddles, physically being near to someone to sex.
Quality time- the Quality time is time spent together, giving each other that undivided attention, embracing their presence and fully committing to it. This takes form in watching tv together, going out to restaurants or bars.
Now you know what the 5 types are, I am going to tell you how you can use this to your advantage.
Learning about your love languages will make you have an awareness and understanding of how you like to be loved and treated. Once you have an understanding of your love language and the 5 types, you will start to see how others like to be treated. Love languages are not solely based on a romantic relationship, it can be in friendships, family, colleagues. It’s a true indication of how a person likes to feel.

To find out your love language all you need to do is take a quick quiz. The quiz questions are based on statements that you think best describe you. In the end, it will be ranked what is your top primary love language is and how much you scored. Sometimes you might have two love languages ranked the same number and that is totally fine.

Below I will show you what my main love languages are, I took this back 2017 and took it again and it’s still the same. I am so fascinated with finding out what other people’s love languages are, I’m surprised I have not done this post sooner.

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So, what is your love language

Live a harmonious life X

New Beginnings

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

September is a time of change from a new month, new season and for many people new school, a different year/grade or a new position. September is part 2 of a new year, it’s a time of change. Even the seasons change, now we are in the midst of autumn/fall(dependant on where you are located in the world). Autumn/fall is the transitional period where the leaves change colour and the temperature starts getting cooler but the sun is still peeking through. It’s a sign of renewal and that’s what I feel September brings, a new phase in your life where things are new. Every day, week and month is a new experience of change and renewal as we are constantly doing at least one thing differently to the previous day. Once you realise that change/renewal is constant, you’ll be less fearful of the big changes like a career change, moving to another city/state or a new school.

For me, change represents movement and not being stagnant. I was feeling stagnant in my old job and I wanted to experience something new and luckily, I was able to change jobs doing something completely different to what I was previously doing. The idea of change used to scare me but, once I realise when new opportunities arrive, it is there to challenge me, maximise my knowledge, skills, and growth I knew I could not let that miss me by. Although there might be periods where I will be scared of the uncertainty, I will welcome it with open arms because I know in the future I can look back and say I done that instead of I wish I done that.

So if you’re in a transition in your life where there are changes around you, remember that new energy, opportunities are entering your life. Think of it as a rebirth, a rebirth of the highest version of yourself

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”– Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Stay Grounded X

THE ADVANTAGE OF A GROWTH MINDSET

What is the true benefit of having a growth mindset.

In my recent post, I gave a beginner crash course of the terms fixed and growth mindset. Now we’re going to delve into the long-lasting benefits from having a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

A recap of the fixed mindset- Is a person who has a setback and as a result, feels like the world is attacking them through interaction they experience throughout the day. They often look at their misfortune as a failure.

The fixed mindset can have a person stuck, unable to unlock their potential because they are focused on getting something ‘perfect’, right or being successful. When the outcome they expect does not come into fruition, they beat themselves up for it.
For example, A women called Sally takes a numeracy test for her to become a qualified teacher, she sits the exams and within a few weeks, she gets the results back. The result is in and she finds out she has not passed, Sally was 5 marks away from passing. Sally was convinced that she would pass and now is feeling worthless and like a failure, because she has not passed.
People who believe their failures equate to their self worth tend to strive more for perfection because one test/experience determines their smartness. This causes detrimental feelings of feeling inadequate unless they are succeeding. This can start from as early as childhood, a remark that was once said about you not succeeding can result in a lifetime of trying to succeed and not feeling like the 5-year-old you.

If you’re currently in a fixed mindset, fear not! You can change your mindset to help you become the greatest version of your conscious and subconscious self.

On the other hand, a growth mindset is seen as a process, a continual line of improvement, a place where a person’s ability is not limited and their setbacks do not correspond to their being. Through learning successful and ‘failing’ experiences, these types of people can learn from the lessons and apply what they’ve been taught in a new direction. When something is a challenge for them, they thrive on putting in the effort and reaching the outcome through creative risks. They are not worried what people say because they know in their hearts they going to reach their goal and no set back will defeat that.

A person with a growth mindset can:

  • Improve on feedback and criticism they have been told

 

  • Complete difficult task

 

  • Not give up and put effort into a task

This is a habit we should all be forming if we want to be more intentional with our minds.

Below are tips and reminders on upgrading your mindset:

  • Remember growth over success. Your failures do not define you as a person

 

  • ‘Every rejection is a redirection‘. Just because you’ve had a setback, does not mean you are failing and you should give up.

 

  • It takes time and patience. This is not an overnight formed habit, it requires a lot of patience.

 

  • As humans we are constantly learning, what would life be like if we knew everything already. Where would the feeling of growth and achievement be?

 

 

It’s time to unlock your full potnetial X

TUNE IN AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF

When was the last time you listened to yourself?

 

When was the last time you listened and took your own advice?

The definition of trust is a ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of something or someone’. The word is normally given to an external source
We gain trust through life experiences and people.

What is the definition of listening,’ to give one’s attention to a sound’. The two terms trust and listening go hand in hand when experiencing any situation in life.
I want to talk about how we openly listen and trust others but find it hard to listen and trust our inner voice. Here’s an example, When you need answers to a specific question, the first answer is found within you. You listen to the receiving answer, but sometimes the answer is not that convincing, so you seek further answers from other sources, usually people you trust(it’s that word again). You go to that trusted person and they tell you the same answer you told yourself earlier. You take on that advice and have more faith in the decision.

But, why did you not listen and trust yourself in beginning to know that you were already making the right decision for you?

We are all guilty of this! It’s a natural habit to some of us when we need guidance that we are doing the right things. Our intuition is there for a reason, it’s there to communicate with you and to hear the message you need to listen.
To understand how to sharpen your mind and learn to listen and trust your intuition there are a few things that can help you along the way:

  • The most effortless one is to simply listen. Sit still and listen to what your mind and body are telling you. That will give you a big indicator of how you are feeling towards your question. It can come in many forms a feeling, a sound or lyrics in a song.
  • Understand when you are feeling negative, it can cloud your judgement

 

  • Trust the feelings you get, they are there to protect you

 

  •  When receiving the right message, you will fee feel calm with a sense of knowing

Can Vulnerability Make You Stronger?

Naturally, we are built on survival mode. When we were primitive humans we were built to survive against danger. This behaviour has been ingrained in us for many years, to the point we rely on this survival mode to hide what we truly believe.

Being vulnerable is not fun. We don’t want to be prey to someone’s power. But, feelings are ok. Letting your guard down and being truthful with your emotions without masking it in survival mode is ok. In a recent post, I talk about how experiencing feelings are totally normal, the deeper the emotion the more connected you feel to it.

When we have this pretence of being strong, we don’t allow new people to fully connect with us and/or have true connections with people we already know. This feeling can be accumulated from a lot of things past experience, trauma, heartbreak however, these feelings don’t have to hinder us in the present with the relationships we have with people. Letting your guard down is kind of sexy…I know what you’re thinking, sexy? really? If you think about it, vulnerability is courageous and we commend people who do so. Vulnerability is healing, it’s about healing from your past self. It can lead to healthier relationships, better communication and more of an understanding of yourself and others. When people let their guard down you see them in a different light, you feel more connected to them, as they are showing you a deeper part of who they are.

I don’t really have any solid tips on how to become more vulnerable as I believe it’s a personal journey and everyone has their own experience with dealing with it. Nevertheless, I do believe it can make you stronger and have healthier relationships. I guess what I’m saying is, just be aware of the walls you’ve built and slowly start to let them down with the people you trust and love. You’ll soon realise it’s not as scary as you think.

 

Stay Grounded X

FEELINGS + YOU = 100% HUMAN

If you experience any emotions, well my friend. Congratulations you are 100% human!

 

We currently live in a world where positivity is at an ultimate high and almost makes you feel discouraged if you’re not happy 24/7.
We are human and as humans, we are taught to feel emotions. Emotions are good. Emotions are our minds reacting to things we’ve experienced and from that reaction, we determine whether it was an enjoyable experience or sparked a feeling that didn’t sit with us as well. If you try to be happy 24/7 you will eventually burn out. In a culture that prides itself on not catching feelings, we ultimately remain untruthful to ourselves and has a damaging effect on our mindset.
When I feel an emotion coming on based off an experience that I didn’t like, instead of trying to cover it up and distract myself. I sit with the feeling, I work out why am I reacting in this way, I allow my whole body to feel this emotion. I find ways to express how I feel, mainly through journalling and I note down what has taken place, my reaction to it and how I can move forward in a healthy manner.
I don’t sit with the feeling for too long because that’s when you enter the downward spiral. of overthinking. Once I find an answer, I release this emotion and work on finding a way to bring myself back to a high vibe.

 
For me, feeling my emotions first and reacting later to a situation, helps me diffuse any experience I have towards a person, place or thing. When you react off instinct you can later find yourself regretting something you’ve said. Removing myself and looking at it from a wider perspective enables me to approach in a healthy way.
So, next time you feel betrayal, hurt, anger, confused or any other emotion, sit with the feeling, what is this feeling, what is it telling you and how can you move forward in a healthy manner that benefits you.

 

Stay Grounded X

3 Ways To Beat The Winter Blues

The winter season has arrived and it’s time we fight back the winter blues with these 3 techniques.

How to beat the winter blues

December is that month where a lot of change is happening, the weather starts to get colder, it gets dark earlier and we are all preparing for the festive period, we know and love called Christmas. It’s a strange time because although we should be happy, it can also be a time where we isolate ourselves. The weather plays a big impact on the way we feel, the lack of sunlight really plays a big role in our mood and how we feel on a daily basis. As the days get darker, we tend to retreat to our safe space which is usually our homes and we find it hard to interact with others. It’s typical to have winter blues where we feel tired, gloomy and annoyed, however when it becomes a permanent mood and affects all aspects of your life, you may be experiencing seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

For me, when it comes to winter season I used to become distance because all I wanted to do is stay at home. Even if friends or family reached out to me, I would make excuses not to go. The weather really did affect my mood. However, this year around I don’t know what has happened but I enjoy spending time out with my loved ones and seeing the Christmas lights when its dark uplifts my mood in a way.

In order to overcome your winter blues and find ways to not isolate yourself, I have a few tips that have helped me and will help you.

  1. Go outdoors
    Spend as much time as you can outside in the daylight, even if it’s for 20 minutes. The serotonin  is a chemical that is released in your brain to reduce anxiety and stress. Spending the right amount of time in the daylight will improve your mood

2. Reach out to your friends/family
No-one knows what is going on inside your head and if you don’t speak up about your anxieties, others won’t know. Letting your loved ones know what you are going through will relieve some stress on your part and make your loved ones aware of how you’re feeling.

3. Change the voice in your head
All the negative talk you tell yourself, as a result, affects how you feel. To change that frequency, you need to find ways of speaking positive affirmations into your life. Changing your language and your thought pattern will enable you to step out of your comfort zone and bring more joy when you let go and say yes.

Stay Grounded X

Are You A Positive Speaker or Believer?

Are you a positive speaker or a positive believer? Think about it for a minute.

Whats the difference you may ask….

Well in this world there are two types of people, the positive speakers who love giving positive advice to support and boost others confidence and who tend to say the right things. They are seen as someone who is very positive about life and what life has to offer. However, these types of people kindly share advice to others but don’t take the same advice for themselves. Inside they are filled with anxiety, self-doubt, and fear that the desire they want will never become a reality.

The other type of person is the positive believer, the positive believers believe in the words their express, they understand that whatever they truly desire will become a reality for them, no matter how many obstacles enter their path; their words match their thoughts which will always match their beliefs. Once you believe in the thought and the words you say, your approach to experiences will always end on a positive note. You ever heard the saying your mind is a powerful tool or something along that line, well that statement is absolutely fundamental in a believers mantra. Don’t get me wrong, I understand you can not be positive all the time we are only humans and are bound to have bad days but, in those times it’s your thoughts and beliefs that you will get you out of the low vibration and into the positive mindset.

For me I over think a lot of things, my mind gets carried away with the talking within me and takes it to another level. I have found a way to combat the energy from being a positive thinker to a positive believer and that is repetition. The influence of repetition is astounding!! Think about it…the more you repeat something to yourself, the more you believe it, right. So if you constantly repeat something positive to yourself the more you will believe that the desire is truly yours; you see where I am going with this.

For example, if I told myself every morning and every evening, I will have a new car. The more I would say it the more it would start to be ingrained in my head which will result in me believing I am worthy of the car I desire.

Give yourself a little task today by repeating something 5 times that you truly want and you’ll start to find the small doubts you have in your head will diminish and the belief that you can truly have it will power over.

 

 

believe and recieve

Stay Grounded X