Attachment Vs Detachment- Relationship Edition

Attachment vs Detachment. Negligence of self in a relationship

*Disclaimer when I mention the word relationship, this includes friendships, platonic and romantically, parents and children, anyone who you share a bond with. 

In my original post I spoke about attachment vs detachment as an overall theme and now I am going to be specific about this topic but in relationships

Attachment is a form of dependence and naturally, in a relationship this is shared between two people. Because we are so inquisitive about an individual other than ourselves, we try to gain as much knowledge as we can. But, when we attach a strong attachment to someone it can lead us away from our own truth because we are encapsulated in their world.

When we love someone wholeheartedly whether platonic or romantic we get blindsided to the reality that is in front of us because we are emotionally attached to the individual and the situation. We are so committed to a person that we are unwilling to accept the things going wrong and the values/morals we don’t stand for.

Simone Weil sums attachment perfectly she says “Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”

I believe we’ve been misinterpreting the meaning behind detachment for a long time now. When we think of the word detach or detachment, our first response is distance, ghosting someone and being closed off. But, that’s not it. You can be detached in a relationship and still do the things you naturally do with each other.  When you put all your happiness, expectation and love in another person, when they leave, you will suffer the consequence and feel empty and lost. This is because you were dependant on them for everything. It then begins a conversation on why were you so attached. Is there a void you’re missing and that person ‘complete’ it..

I’m not saying to be cynical of all your relationships, I in fact, encourage you to love and be passionate wholeheartedly.It is not until you are neglecting the self, is where detachment is required.

Ultimately the messages I want to share is:

  • Be independent in your relationship
  • Don’t take things too personally
  • Detachment is healthy
  • Do not neglect yourself

 

I would love to hear your opinions on attachment and detachment. Let me know in the comment section.

 

Stay Grounded X

Attachment Vs Detachment

Attachment vs Detachment.
When is holding on too long affecting you.

I have been challenged in writing this blog post because there is so many things I could talk about based on this topic….but we would be here for ages.  I am going to start with attachment vs detachment in general and in the next coming days, I am going to go into more depth with specific types of attachment.

We are attached to many different things, material goods, relationships, friendships, life and thoughts and they either spark something within us or dull our sparkle. The experiences and attachments we have clouds our judgement which results in overthinking. An example of this is the attachment to past life experience. The subject is the ’past life’ and the attached emotion is regret. The hybrid of the experience and emotion together can have an individual over analysing the past, reliving the experience in their head and creating different scenarios of how they would do it differently if they could.

This type of attachment can lead to a negative state of mind about our past, present and future self. It gives a disservice to our present because we are not living in the moment, we are too focused on what has already passed.
When we have an attachment to something, we don’t want to let it go so we keep hold of it for as long as possible even if it hurts us in the long run, it’s the certainty of the unknown if we let go of it, what will happen.

This is why we need to reevaluate what we are desperate to hold on too. Detachment enables you to get out of the mind frame of controlling things by being able to remove yourself and not take things too personally.

It is one of the hardest things to do because you have built up this visionary in your head, where you have constantly replayed it, scrutinised it and adapted it, to suddenly letting it go and having a change of habit which isn’t natural for you.
Detachment is an understanding of coming to peace with things that are in your life and when it’s ready to let go, you can do it effortlessly.

Be mindful in the next coming weeks of what you attach yourself to and the messages you constantly tell yourself. Perhaps you’re holding on to a friendship that no longer serves you or a thought that is fearing change.

Keep your eyes open to read about specific types of attachment in my next post.

 

Stay Grounded X

Monthly Investments

What investment will you implement this month to become your greatest self

Hello June!
We are halfway through the year already and around this time is the point where we reflect on how our first half of the year has been going for us and what needs to be adapted or improved.
At the beginning of each month I set out a monthly Investment- This concept is made up of goals I want to explicitly commit to in the month that will bring me to the best version of myself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I call them investments because I am investing in myself and once achieved I will be rewarded for those investments. Each investment will bring me to a new version of myself. I began the investment at the start of the year and upon reflecting on my own personal journey it was peaceful to see that I have managed so much in 6 months. They say if you continuously do something every day for a month or so, your mind and body start to recognise and form a habit. This is my reason for using 30/31 days as my base to form my monthly investments.

After I have written my monthly investments, I write suggestions and break downs on how I’ll be able to achieve it. Without breaking it down and guiding yourself, the investment will feel overwhelming to the point it puts you off. The suggestions and break downs is a simple way in which you will feel less overwhelmed and more excited to invest in yourself more.

At the end of the month, I do an Investment reflection, I write down how well I achieved each investment and what has been a highlight or what needs to be adapted or improved.

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What’s your June Investment?

Stay Grounded X

WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY?

Do you want more out of life but don’t know how to execute it. A spiritual journey just might be what your’e looking for. Find out what a spiritual journey is and how it can work for you.

A spiritual journey or spiritual awakening is used interchangeably to describe a journey of old patterns that no longer serve you and has you wanting to move out of that space and into a new one. It’s about taking charge of your life and living your truth. When embarking on this journey it can bring up some feelings and memories you might have blocked, suppressed or haven’t felt before, these feelings make you acknowledge and work on changing these old patterns so they no hold you back in your new sphere.

Each spiritual journey is unique to individuals but the ultimate goal is working through the patterns that hinder your life. You might be thinking how do I know if I am called towards something different? You’ll start to question your current reality and wanting more. Below I collated a few ways in which your soul wants to move in a new direction

  • You want more out of life. You might want something to change drastically in your life but you don’t know what
  • You are conscious that this version of your life no longer serve you
  • You feel a bit lost in life
  • You are having more conscious awareness of your negative habits and thoughts
  • You want to deeply understand who you are

I’m currently embarking on my own spiritual journey and was one of the reasons why I felt compelled to write this post. I started by answering some question I wrote for myself. And let me tell you it was the hardest thing to do, acknowledging my vulnerability in a way I have never done before. I knew all the answers subconsciously but I just did not want to face it, so I suppress it and suppress it. These questions enabled me to understand why I think the way I do, it helps me understand and recognise the root of the cause. The awakening I want, won’t happen overnight but if I keep reminding myself of the beautiful end goal through this awakening, present me will understand why I have to go through this challenging but rewarding journey.

Below are 10 questions I asked myself at the beginning of my journey. You don’t have to answer all 10, you can pick out the ones that resonate with you or you can complete all 10 questions. Remember to be as detailed as possible. You’ll find more truth hidden in between the lines than what is on the surface.

What are you afraid of?

Why are you scared of failure?

Do you feel like you express enough love to yourself?

Do you respect yourself?

Are you a good example for those around me?

Do the people in your life add value?

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

What experiences have not healed your heart?

How would your life be if you did not have any fear or self-doubt?

When was the last time you were truly proud of yourself?

Please keep me updated if you are currently on a spiritual journey, just started or ultimately finished and want to share your journey.

Stay Grounded X

HOW TO DETOX THE MIND


Earlier this week I did a post about detoxing and I left it pretty open in how you might want to detox.
In this post, I want to go into more depth about how to detox your mind. The brain is the most complex organ and with that, our mind is repeatedly filled with knowledge, our ego, unnecessary things, trauma, memories, and many more complicated topics. And we allow our minds to take over and exaggerate what we think, to the point we start to believe the stories we tell ourselves. A habit that most of us do, including myself is to keep all of our worries and anxieties cooped up in our mind, out of fear of being vulnerable or feeling uncomfortable, so we let it manifest in our head. This is how overthinking is formed and it plays a big role in how we perceive situations externally.

Now I don’t have all the answers to detoxing your mind, but I certainly know this; It starts and ends with you. Only you can regain the power in letting go of this limiting habit that has taken a toll on you.

Some useful ways and reminders in detoxing your mind for the better:

Speak to someone:
There is always support wherever you go but you won’t know that until you open up. Seek out the people in your life who you trust and tell them your anxieties and fears. You will feel much better when you’ve expressed how you feel.

No quick fix:
Understand detoxing your mind is not a quick fix, you had years and years programming this belief in your brain and it won’t go overnight. But, by recognising these limiting qualities you have and spending time actively changing the story in your head to the point that you believe it, that’s when you will see a real difference.

The ego:
It’s your ego that is creating these false perceptions and realities that keep your brain working overtime. The ego has this thing where it tries to come up with this would of, should of solution and from that, you dwell on the past and try to change what has gone.

Write your worries down:
Writing down what is keeping you in a locked mindset enables you to take what is in your head and physically see it on paper. A place where you can separate your emotions and reflect on what you want to eliminate.

Let go:
Let go of any trauma, past memories that no longer have a place in your mind. Allow that experience to help you move on by thanking the experience and letting it go with love

Remove external factors:
I always say this but if there is something in your physical space that no longer needs to be there. Get rid of it. This could be objects that remind you of something, people who you want to distance away from or move on. When your physical space is balanced so is your mind.

Digital detox:
We are always on our phones and we get the most information from there but, all that information can actually be detrimental to our health if we are consuming the wrong stuff. Cut down on the things you consume via technology, this can be the people you follow on social media, social media as a whole or limiting your time on the most frequent technology you use.

Stay Grounded X

The Perks Of A Detox

Is there an area that is no longer uplifting you? Find out why taking a detox can benefit you.

A detox or a cleanse is all about lessening the amount of energy you put into something as it starts to have a negative effect on your mind, body, and soul. It’s a sign to release all the toxins that no longer uplift you. When we are caught up in the negative toxic state, we get unhappy, we start to compare ourselves to others and we suppress the person we truly are and before you know it you are in a complete rut.
Detox or cleanse is the step before you completely burn out, by stepping back and observing your patterns, you are able to alter the energy you put into something and turn it into something that makes you feel good.
Is there something in your life that perhaps you need to take a cleanse from, step back and observe what no longer uplifts you and start the process of removing it from your life.

Quote of the week: ”Find the ultimate balance that brings you inner peace” – The Grounded Tree

To view last weeks inspiration of the week click here

Set Your Morning Intention

How to set your morning intention to your advantage!

Inspiration of the week

Your morning routine shapes the rest of your day. When you wake up with the dreaded feeling of going to work, university or an appointment, your day just inevitably gets worst by the minute. However, if you shift your mindset to a positive one, by rewiring your thoughts and doing something that brings you joy in the morning, the outcome is so much better. My favourite and easiest way to get into a high vibe state is by listening to music that makes me feel good. A bit of Beyonce in the morning always makes me feel on top of the world 🙂

This week I want you to find what brings you joy and use it in your morning routine to set your intention for the day.

Quote of the week: ” You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do”- Carl Jung

To view last weeks inspiration of the week click here

The Benefits Of Journaling

The great benefits of journaling

A great way to unwind for the day and get you relaxed and ready for bed is creating a comfortable, calm atmosphere where you are able to journal. Journaling can mean different things for different people, my definition of journaling is a safe place where I am able to write my worries, anxieties, achievements, my day and from time to time I do free writing, free writing is where I put pen to paper and allow myself to write whatever I want. I am truly amazed when I finish writing and see the questions I need to be answered or what I have been overthinking about. Journaling is pretty much like talking to yourself via a letter and getting the answers you need before you post it.

Journaling at night can be a catharsis release, everything you have been dealing with; your thoughts and anxieties whether conscious or subconscious can be released by jotting a few sentences down and the best part is there is no word count. You can write 1 page or 5 pages and the only person who is ever going to see it is you, that’s the best part.
The feeling of journaling at night can put everything to rest and start the next morning with a fresher, more clearer mindset.

I encourage you to start journaling if you have not already and start by writing to your future self. A little secret is- if you write it down with intention, it’s more likely to come true 🙂

Stay Grounded X

Listen To Your Body

What does it mean to listen to your body?

Inspiration of the week

You create a to-do list and you have every intention to get everything ticked off the list but a few minutes later you end up curled up in bed because your body is exhausted.

Listening to your body is an indication of how you feel physically and mentally and it shouldn’t be ignored. In order to perform your best, you need to let your body repair and rest, even if that means not getting everything done on your to-do list and taking some time out for yourself. If your body is telling you to binge watch Netflix all day, don’t wait on your thoughts to confirm whether this is the right or wrong thing to do, move without deciding or pondering on the thought; go with the flow and don’t feel apologetic for it.

This week I want you to just listen to your body. What is it telling you? What does it need? Take some time to relax and slow down, You’ll be very surprised by the answer you’ll receive.

Quote of the week: ” You can’t enjoy life if you’re not nourishing your body”-Tracey Gold

To view last weeks inspiration of the week click here

Embracing The Uncertanity Of Life

The art of embracing the uncertanity of life can be pretty scary. Find out how you can turn this fear into good energy.

Embrace the uncertainty blog post

Every day we are faced with uncertainty with the decision, experiences and thoughts we go through on a daily basis and some of the thoughts can be on a minuscule level such as ‘’ Will the bus arrive in 3 minutes? ’’, we don’t know for certain if the bus is going to arrive in 3 minutes but we embrace that uncertainty and we know that the bus will eventually arrive or if not in 3 minutes there is an alternative. We tend to have a nonchalant attitude towards smalls thoughts like this but, when it comes to an experience that will have a bigger impact on us, we often get into an anxious state.

Why do we not share the same attitude that we have for the bus with the bigger things in life?
Because the uncertainty scares us and as humans, we like to have control of our lives and what is going to happen next.

We should embrace uncertainty as a means of improvement. By acknowledging and welcoming this feeling we are accepting that it is there but what we do next determines how we manipulate the thought to bring the best outcome for us.
For example, If you are stuck in the mud and can’t get out, your mind starts to irrationally go into overdrive but if you acknowledge the feeling (that you are stuck) and that you don’t know how your going to get out but you know there is a way and you start to strategically find ways to release yourself. You have fundamentally found a way to overcome that situation which was the best outcome for you.

I hope this all makes sense as this is something I am still working on and by sharing my journey with you. It can help unleash any limiting thoughts you may have.

I guess what I am saying is, stop letting the fear of the unknown stop you from doing the things you want to do in life. Walk in faith, understand that you might not know how you will get to your end result but by embracing the uncertainty and having that energy of determination you will push through in life.

Stay Grounded X