CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR TOXIC BEHAVIOUR?

What is toxic behaviour and how to spot it, when it’s you?

When we hear the word toxic it is usually to describe a person who has present different behaviour. Toxicity can be recognised through an individual manipulating, making you feel bad or a toxic habit of some kind. When someone is displaying toxic behaviour, it is noticeable and we try to steer away from them. But, what happens when we are the toxic individual? It is harder to recognise our toxic habits because we have engrained into ourself this is who we are, this makeup of ourselves comes from past trauma or experiences we later project on to others. These patterns become so unrecognisable we are too blind to see it. We might see people slowly walk out of our lives or you hear the same comment about yourself from various people. This is a major sign that you might be displaying toxic behaviour. Toxic behaviour can be in many forms, below I have suggested types of toxic habits people might use.

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If you can relate to any of the above habits or recognise other habits within you, then congratulations you are a step further than most people. Becoming aware of something that you have not noticed before brings you in the reflection mode and being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things a person can do. It reveals a hidden truth that you don’t want to admit or did not see. Recognising and being aware of these habits that can often be toxic will allow you to enter the phase of self reflection, self reflection is an on going process, a true and honest way of growing mentally and emotionally. Reflection and adaptation also allows you to create healthier relationships between yourself and others.

Sit down with yourself and identify what toxic behaviours/habits you possess. Once you’ve written that down, think about how this has affected your relationships over the year. Have you heard the same comment about yourself from different people? Be super transparent with yourself, no matter how much it hurts. From the identification stage, it is time to work on changing that pattern that you have become accustomed to.

 

Stay Grounded X

New Beginnings

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

September is a time of change from a new month, new season and for many people new school, a different year/grade or a new position. September is part 2 of a new year, it’s a time of change. Even the seasons change, now we are in the midst of autumn/fall(dependant on where you are located in the world). Autumn/fall is the transitional period where the leaves change colour and the temperature starts getting cooler but the sun is still peeking through. It’s a sign of renewal and that’s what I feel September brings, a new phase in your life where things are new. Every day, week and month is a new experience of change and renewal as we are constantly doing at least one thing differently to the previous day. Once you realise that change/renewal is constant, you’ll be less fearful of the big changes like a career change, moving to another city/state or a new school.

For me, change represents movement and not being stagnant. I was feeling stagnant in my old job and I wanted to experience something new and luckily, I was able to change jobs doing something completely different to what I was previously doing. The idea of change used to scare me but, once I realise when new opportunities arrive, it is there to challenge me, maximise my knowledge, skills, and growth I knew I could not let that miss me by. Although there might be periods where I will be scared of the uncertainty, I will welcome it with open arms because I know in the future I can look back and say I done that instead of I wish I done that.

So if you’re in a transition in your life where there are changes around you, remember that new energy, opportunities are entering your life. Think of it as a rebirth, a rebirth of the highest version of yourself

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”– Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Stay Grounded X

I Was Living A Lie

I was living a lie and not living my truth

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I recently saw this meme on Facebook and it caught my attention and resonated with me.
I remember when starting on my spiritual journey I would be inspired by other women and would question myself as when I was flicking through the endless of positive women, they were all very prim and proper, mind their p’s and q’s and was never sad. I on the hand was the total opposite of that, I go through emotions, I occasionally swear, dance and very sociable but, I also like to be an introvert and have my alone time with just me and a book. I believed the universe wouldn’t communicate with me because I wasn’t all the things I was ‘supposed’ to be.

It got to a point where I would hide my life on the internet so I appeared to fit into the social norm of being a ‘spiritual woman’. Now looking back I realise that it was utter BS, there is no definition of what a spiritual person needs to look or act like. Everyone’s definition of their spiritual growth is different, there is no one way.  I was feeding into the notion of something that did not represent me, I was living a lie.

I ended up having a pep talk with myself and vouched from now on to always live my truth, people are going to judge and it’s ok, they don’t know my worth and I don’t need to prove to them. I can be all those things above and still be living accustomed to a spiritual life that is for me, that connects me with the universe. All that matters is the levelling I continue to possess, will lead me into the multi-faceted woman I have always seen within me.
Stay Grounded X

SLOW DOWN & BREATHE

Self care routines are needed to remind you to slow down.

*This post is in collaboration with Jess of Earth*

Do you ever feel like the days are just on a constant loop and you don’t know what day or month it is but, you know you are exhausted? This constant loop can manifest physically and mentally and is a tale-tell sign to slow down.
Today post is in collaboration with Jess of Earth and we are going to share our experience on what are self-care routine is when we need to slow down. Be sure to check her routine after.

I feel like a self-care routine is needed every night, even if some days are busier than others, it’s a great way to let your body relax and get into its natural rhythm. To get me back into the flow of things I do a few things, one of my favourite things is to immerse myself in a book especially a fiction book. Fiction books allow me to get out of my head and into a place of imagination and wonder. Currently, I am reading Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mande and every time I open that book I let go of the outside world and submerge in the world of post-apocalyptic ( I won’t spoil it for you but, I do recommend you read it).

After I read, I start to do a bit of yoga and meditation as I’ve been stuck in one position for a long time. When we are constantly on the go our bodies get tensed because we are constantly on the go, but by introducing yoga at the end of the day, it has helped me get those knots and kinks out of my body so I can feel relaxed and free. I often incorporate meditation once my body feels light after yoga, as the mind and body works as one.

If I am out and about and I can’t do the above activities, I will either phone a loved one to just take my mind off of everything and seek advice. Another thing I enjoy is walking in nature, it’s like letting go of everything and just being able to focus on the present and what I see around me.
What is your favourite way to unwind and slow down? Comment below

And don’t forget to have a read of Jess’s experience on her self care routine.
Stay Grounded X

Can Vulnerability Make You Stronger?

Naturally, we are built on survival mode. When we were primitive humans we were built to survive against danger. This behaviour has been ingrained in us for many years, to the point we rely on this survival mode to hide what we truly believe.

Being vulnerable is not fun. We don’t want to be prey to someone’s power. But, feelings are ok. Letting your guard down and being truthful with your emotions without masking it in survival mode is ok. In a recent post, I talk about how experiencing feelings are totally normal, the deeper the emotion the more connected you feel to it.

When we have this pretence of being strong, we don’t allow new people to fully connect with us and/or have true connections with people we already know. This feeling can be accumulated from a lot of things past experience, trauma, heartbreak however, these feelings don’t have to hinder us in the present with the relationships we have with people. Letting your guard down is kind of sexy…I know what you’re thinking, sexy? really? If you think about it, vulnerability is courageous and we commend people who do so. Vulnerability is healing, it’s about healing from your past self. It can lead to healthier relationships, better communication and more of an understanding of yourself and others. When people let their guard down you see them in a different light, you feel more connected to them, as they are showing you a deeper part of who they are.

I don’t really have any solid tips on how to become more vulnerable as I believe it’s a personal journey and everyone has their own experience with dealing with it. Nevertheless, I do believe it can make you stronger and have healthier relationships. I guess what I’m saying is, just be aware of the walls you’ve built and slowly start to let them down with the people you trust and love. You’ll soon realise it’s not as scary as you think.

 

Stay Grounded X

HOW TO DETOX THE MIND


Earlier this week I did a post about detoxing and I left it pretty open in how you might want to detox.
In this post, I want to go into more depth about how to detox your mind. The brain is the most complex organ and with that, our mind is repeatedly filled with knowledge, our ego, unnecessary things, trauma, memories, and many more complicated topics. And we allow our minds to take over and exaggerate what we think, to the point we start to believe the stories we tell ourselves. A habit that most of us do, including myself is to keep all of our worries and anxieties cooped up in our mind, out of fear of being vulnerable or feeling uncomfortable, so we let it manifest in our head. This is how overthinking is formed and it plays a big role in how we perceive situations externally.

Now I don’t have all the answers to detoxing your mind, but I certainly know this; It starts and ends with you. Only you can regain the power in letting go of this limiting habit that has taken a toll on you.

Some useful ways and reminders in detoxing your mind for the better:

Speak to someone:
There is always support wherever you go but you won’t know that until you open up. Seek out the people in your life who you trust and tell them your anxieties and fears. You will feel much better when you’ve expressed how you feel.

No quick fix:
Understand detoxing your mind is not a quick fix, you had years and years programming this belief in your brain and it won’t go overnight. But, by recognising these limiting qualities you have and spending time actively changing the story in your head to the point that you believe it, that’s when you will see a real difference.

The ego:
It’s your ego that is creating these false perceptions and realities that keep your brain working overtime. The ego has this thing where it tries to come up with this would of, should of solution and from that, you dwell on the past and try to change what has gone.

Write your worries down:
Writing down what is keeping you in a locked mindset enables you to take what is in your head and physically see it on paper. A place where you can separate your emotions and reflect on what you want to eliminate.

Let go:
Let go of any trauma, past memories that no longer have a place in your mind. Allow that experience to help you move on by thanking the experience and letting it go with love

Remove external factors:
I always say this but if there is something in your physical space that no longer needs to be there. Get rid of it. This could be objects that remind you of something, people who you want to distance away from or move on. When your physical space is balanced so is your mind.

Digital detox:
We are always on our phones and we get the most information from there but, all that information can actually be detrimental to our health if we are consuming the wrong stuff. Cut down on the things you consume via technology, this can be the people you follow on social media, social media as a whole or limiting your time on the most frequent technology you use.

Stay Grounded X