Ever had that annoying pessimistic voice telling you ‘you can’t do it’, ‘why try you’re going to fail anyway’ or ‘ you’re not smart enough’. That’s voice I call the hater, the voice that always has something negative to say but never praises you for the hard work you do everyday. Then we enter the world of non self-trust where we make decisions based on others opinion for validation. And then it starts to become a spiral of self doubt and not believing in yourself.
However, I am here to tell you not to listen to that voice and show it who’s boss.
In this post I have written down ways to start believing in yourself. Some you already do aimlessly while others require a bit of a push from yourself. Yes, it’s hard sometimes but with the power of your words, the thoughts that you create affect your emotions.. Change your thoughts and watch you blossom!
1.Celebrate your accomplishments
Even if it’s getting out of bed. You should be proud of the past and present accomplishments, you are brilliant.
2.Stop asking for validation of yourself from other people
No-one know the ins and out of what makes you unique beside yourself. Every decision you make is from a self trust point of view, you trust yourself massively in order to exert that decision so why seek validation from other people to back up what you already know.
Now I am not saying don’t ever ask advice from others but know when to take your own advice
3.Take past experiences as growth
Don’t beat yourself up for past experiences. Growth is a way of knowing what works and what doesn’t and applying them to future experiences.
4.Think of the positive outcomes when you believe
Visualising the successes of your dream life is great when you believe yourself. Focus on the positive rather than the negative
5.Don’t let fear stop you
Fear is a little bitch…DON’T LET IT STOP YOU!!
REMEMBER YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
In the first week I know it’s extremely hard to keep up with a mantra everyday as your mind is constantly thinking ( I have it as well). So I’ve decided to tell you a few quick tips on keeping up the #30dayselflovechallenge. This is not only for you but it is for me as I see myself slipping at times.
p.s You can do the self love mantra any time of the day!
p.p.s Thank you to everyone who’s join me on this challenge and remember it’s not too late to join either
Tips & Tricks
1. Write post stick notes around your room
2. Team up with a friend and encourage each other
3. Use it as a morning and evening mantra ( if you forget during the day)
4. Meditate- Visualise yourself
If you have any tips that you use, please share in the comments.
Throughout my years as a young teenager I always struggled with loving myself. I damned myself by looking at the people who I thought had it all going for them, looks, friends and money. To be honest I was jealous and I know I am not the only person out there who has ever felt jealous of someone else. I used to ask myself when will I get out this ‘ugly duckling’ stage?, when will I get a great boyfriend who would spoil me rotten? and the major question that needed to be answered was when will I have a million pounds in my bank account?( I’m still wishing). I would like to say this feeling stopped as I got older but it certainly didn’t. Having been surrounded by technology/social media there was no escaping images of beautiful young girls who were the same age as me, who’s lives were much more fancier than mine.
One day I was aimlessly scrolling through Instagram and all I saw were beautiful women with long hair, big butts and tiny waist. In that moment I scanned my eyes over my body and started to compare myself to them.
Then something clicked in my head.
Everyone is different!, yes majority of the females on Instagram have had some form of surgery but I realised my imperfections are my perfections and I should embrace it. I love me for who I am. I am determined, strong and beautiful young woman who embraces all my imperfections.
* Disclaimer* It takes more than 21 days to form a habit, so I decided to form a 30 day Self Love challenge.
Now the rules are as followed:
1.Everyday say something that you love about yourself/What makes you unique
I want YOU to join me on a journey of celebration. Share what makes you amazing and your perfection!
-Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
-Don’t Beat Yourself Up
-Embrace Your Imperfections
-Change Your Inner Critic
– LOVE YOURSELF
Join me on this challenge on social media #30DaysSelfloveChallenge IG: @laii_lovee
Ever had someone who puts you down, controls you, competes with you or makes you feel like your the ‘bully’? If you answer Yes to any of them. You have a toxic individual in your life who needs to be removed.
I’ve had many friends who I simply had to remove out of my life due to them affecting my energy and not supporting my growth. I’ve had people ask me do I miss my old friends and my answer is always NO and I’ll tell you the reason why…Since they’ve been gone a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I feel truly happy and at peace that I don’t have to dodge them or make any excuses to not see them. I realised that they were affecting my happiness and they needed to go!!
Whether friend, family or significant other, if that person is hindering your growth, they do not deserve to be in your life. Surround yourself with like minded people who genuinely celebrate your growth and achievements, not people who are manipulative or who only celebrates about them and not acknowledge your feelings.
How to spot a toxic person:
They constantly put you down
Competes with you in everything ( even if its minor)
Selfish- It’s always their way or no way
You dread seeing/talking to them
Always plays the victim
Once you have spotted who’s toxic around you. Its your decision to learn how to remove that toxic energy from your life
I understand that you can’t remove people out of your life just like that, so I suggest that you talk to them beforehand and explain your concerns and if they don’t change or keep up the consistency, then its up to you whether you want to keep this toxic relationship going or put an end to it.
How to remove toxicity out of your life:
Put yourself first
Re-evalaute your relationship with that person
Delete the person of all social media accounts
Surround yourself with like minded people
Understand that this is a blessing and that this relationship is not a reflection of you as a person
Journaling- Write down your feelings towards that person and then let it go. Some examples are, throwing it away, burn it, hide it or release it in some form