The one advice you need to hear!
On this blog, I specialise in talking about wellness and continual self-development and I stand by the statements ‘ Self-development is key to uncovering and discovering old and new things about yourself’ and it’s a great experience to undergo. However, if this search turns from being healthy to an unhealthy constant search of finding one’s self, it can end up with someone being exhausted and burnt out.
When we are in a constant battle of over analysing every situation we remove our true self from the experience because we are constantly searching for something that doesn’t need to be altered.
I often see people beat themselves up about habits they want to form but, I am reminding you that you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. What doesn’t help is when you start to blur the lines between developing healthy habits on a self-development journey and an unhealthy habit of searching for something that’s not there.
You wouldn’t dismantle a fully working, functional pen so why do the same to yourself?
Live everyday with gratitude X
Ever had a thought that you weren’t good enough and then the next minute you’re spiralling down a rabbit hole of self-doubt and insecurities. Going down that hole can be discouraging as it starts to affect our self-esteem and confidence.
I watched a TedTalk that spoke about How to be more powerful than you can ever imagine and it made me understand that we have a bad habit of lacking empathy and compassion for ourselves; we would never speak to our friends or family the way we speak to ourselves so why do we think it’s acceptable to speak to ourselves this way.
When we change our pattern and show the compassion and empathy that we freely give to others, we rise to the challenge that is set to discourage us and in that process, we transform into the superhero that we know is inside us.
The superhero in us aids our inner strength and we start to discover how powerful we truly are. What would you do if you had your superhero outfit on…What are the things you would accomplish? It’s a bit like an alter ego; an extension of yourself or a journey to who you are becoming. Before you know it your superhero outfit will be so embedded in you, you won’t even flinch whenever a thought pattern or feeling of low vibration hits because you’ll see it as a challenge to succeed.
I will leave you with this powerful quote ‘’In rising to our challenges, we find our superhero’’.
Find your inner strength…Find your superhero
Live a harmonious life X
Nothing comes to you unless you’re super clear with your words and actions. Tell me, what do you want?
I love a good list. I am list mad, shopping list, goals list, to-do list or worklist. Give me something and I will make it into a list. I find that I enjoy ticking off a completed task and reviewing the list with all ticks gives me a feel-good mood.
I also find that writing out exactly what I want helps me get more of a clearer understanding of what I want in the future. This is why I want to share with you the art of scripting.
Scripting is a law of attraction technique, it is about declaring what you want and being detailed in the things you want to see in your future. It is such a simple task that it sounds too simple to be true.
Here’s a question for you… What is the ultimate dream?
How do you want to feel in a year, 2 years, 5 years?
What do you want your life to look like in X amount of years?
You can have it all by simply writing it down and declaring to yourself and the higher power what you truly want. The hack is to be super detailed and specific, if it’s a new car that you want, what colour, shape, what kind of mod-cons do you want in this car? Built-in sat-nav, parking sensor, leather interior?. Be as specific as you can!
Is it a new friendship you want to attract? Do you want this person to be a good communicator, a caring person, a generous person, someone you can be vulnerable with?
The things you want in life is endless and it all starts with a list. MAKE THIS LIST AND THEN LET GO OF THE LIST….Let go? Huh? Yes, let go of the idea. The more you attach to this list, the more you are repelling it from your reality. When you let go and forget the universe works ten folds for you to have it sooner than you think.
I am full living proof that scripting works and is real! In the past, I have scripted a list of what I want my future job, life, friendships to look like and everything on that list has come true. I once made a list and put it somewhere so safe that I couldn’t remember where I placed it and only remember 2 things off the list. Eventually, when I found it( a month later) everything that I wanted came true. A quick disclaimer too, if something doesn’t resonate with you on that list a week later, do not worry because you can always update it.
A refresher that you need to know about scripting:
- Sit down and truly think about what you want
- Reach for the pen and paper in a comfortable place and write down what you want in your life
- Be specific and if you don’t know exactly, write down the feelings you want to emanate
- Fold the piece of paper up and place it somewhere safe
- Let the universe take control
Stay Grounded X
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” -Lao Tzu
Why are we in such a rush to have the ideal career, relationship, marriage, car, life experience? We are under the impression that we have to successfully achieve our life achievements in a period frame of 5 years, when your’e in your early to mid twenties. Even on a smaller scale, the tendency to speed walk, rush to eat lunch, rush our work. Time is not running out, there is no measure of time it just keeps going. It doesn’t help when we see people we’ve either grown up with or view people via social media, achieving the things we want to achieve. But, it’s ok, you are not competing with that person, you’re comparing their chapter 50 to your chapter 2. To achieve any results in life we need to have passion, perseverance and strength, not everything you achieve is going to be plain sailing but, when viewing other highlights this is not what is seen.
I have been a culprit of being in this limiting mindset myself, sometimes I catch myself thinking a thought and quickly have to take myself out of that mind frame because it boils down to this ‘what is the rush?’. I always wonder if I had everything I ever wanted handed to me right now, would I appreciate it? It’s like the old saying ‘trust the process’ to fully appreciate what you want, you have to go through a journey and like I said before it might not be plain sailing but after going through it and achieve your desire, you appreciate the hard work that was put into it ( I might be going on a tangent here but, I believe it does have some relevance).
It’s easy to adopt this habit as our ego feeds into the negative self talk of ourselves and it seeks to find things related so it confirms our understanding. We are in a constant battle between ourselves and our environment to rush and experience things.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when you find your self overthinking an rushing:
- Goals/ life experiences whatever you want will take time, enjoy the process. When you get the results you will appreciate it even more.
- Like I previously mentioned, stop comparing your experiences to someone else highlight. They put the same amount of effort into their dreams that you have. Don’t be discouraged. Be inspired. Know that is possible
- Have faith- Know that everything you are working towards will become a reality
- Remember no matter what age you are currently, you have more than 20 years on this earth to experience everything you want. So what’s the rush?
- Enjoy every moment of your life because you won’t have this experience again. Change that attitude to gratitude
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” -Lao Tzu
Stay Grounded X
When one door closes, another door will open. How do you trust the process?
If you’ve ever visited or currently live in London you’ll notice at each station there is a board with a thought of the day consisting of quotes, a riddle or a fun message to spread to the public.
Recently, I saw a quote and the first half struck me, it stated ‘’When one door closes, another one opens’’. And it’s so true. When we don’t get the results we want, we automatically start to think about what we could have done better or different but, we never stop to think that by us not getting that outcome, we are being redirected into the opportunity that is meant for us. As cliche as it sounds, it holds some weight to it. If an opportunity or experience is meant for you, it won’t see you by.
So if you’re feeling knocked back by rejection, consider that you are being aligned to the right thing for you. Trust that everything works in your favour!!
Stay Grounded X
Attachment vs Detachment. Negligence of self in a relationship
*Disclaimer when I mention the word relationship, this includes friendships, platonic and romantically, parents and children, anyone who you share a bond with.
In my original post I spoke about attachment vs detachment as an overall theme and now I am going to be specific about this topic but in relationships
Attachment is a form of dependence and naturally, in a relationship this is shared between two people. Because we are so inquisitive about an individual other than ourselves, we try to gain as much knowledge as we can. But, when we attach a strong attachment to someone it can lead us away from our own truth because we are encapsulated in their world.
When we love someone wholeheartedly whether platonic or romantic we get blindsided to the reality that is in front of us because we are emotionally attached to the individual and the situation. We are so committed to a person that we are unwilling to accept the things going wrong and the values/morals we don’t stand for.
Simone Weil sums attachment perfectly she says “Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
I believe we’ve been misinterpreting the meaning behind detachment for a long time now. When we think of the word detach or detachment, our first response is distance, ghosting someone and being closed off. But, that’s not it. You can be detached in a relationship and still do the things you naturally do with each other. When you put all your happiness, expectation and love in another person, when they leave, you will suffer the consequence and feel empty and lost. This is because you were dependant on them for everything. It then begins a conversation on why were you so attached. Is there a void you’re missing and that person ‘complete’ it..
I’m not saying to be cynical of all your relationships, I in fact, encourage you to love and be passionate wholeheartedly.It is not until you are neglecting the self, is where detachment is required.
Ultimately the messages I want to share is:
- Be independent in your relationship
- Don’t take things too personally
- Detachment is healthy
- Do not neglect yourself
I would love to hear your opinions on attachment and detachment. Let me know in the comment section.
Stay Grounded X
Attachment vs Detachment.
When is holding on too long affecting you.
I have been challenged in writing this blog post because there is so many things I could talk about based on this topic….but we would be here for ages. I am going to start with attachment vs detachment in general and in the next coming days, I am going to go into more depth with specific types of attachment.
We are attached to many different things, material goods, relationships, friendships, life and thoughts and they either spark something within us or dull our sparkle. The experiences and attachments we have clouds our judgement which results in overthinking. An example of this is the attachment to past life experience. The subject is the ’past life’ and the attached emotion is regret. The hybrid of the experience and emotion together can have an individual over analysing the past, reliving the experience in their head and creating different scenarios of how they would do it differently if they could.
This type of attachment can lead to a negative state of mind about our past, present and future self. It gives a disservice to our present because we are not living in the moment, we are too focused on what has already passed.
When we have an attachment to something, we don’t want to let it go so we keep hold of it for as long as possible even if it hurts us in the long run, it’s the certainty of the unknown if we let go of it, what will happen.
This is why we need to reevaluate what we are desperate to hold on too. Detachment enables you to get out of the mind frame of controlling things by being able to remove yourself and not take things too personally.
It is one of the hardest things to do because you have built up this visionary in your head, where you have constantly replayed it, scrutinised it and adapted it, to suddenly letting it go and having a change of habit which isn’t natural for you.
Detachment is an understanding of coming to peace with things that are in your life and when it’s ready to let go, you can do it effortlessly.
Be mindful in the next coming weeks of what you attach yourself to and the messages you constantly tell yourself. Perhaps you’re holding on to a friendship that no longer serves you or a thought that is fearing change.
Keep your eyes open to read about specific types of attachment in my next post.
Stay Grounded X