Being lost is the journey to being found. Find out how the unknown can be a push in the right direction.
Have you ever felt or currently feeling lost in what direction to take next? Do you feel like you’re stuck in life?
If you answered yes to the above questions then you are not alone. During our lives, we have all felt lost in where we are heading next, especially during this pandemic where our lives have been turned upside down and we had to make major adjustments. Maybe you’re in need of a career change after reflecting on your current job or the life your live needs a change. Whatever your situation is, feeling lost can surprisingly be a good thing?
I know, I know, it sounds ludicrous but hear me out! Going through this turbulence of emotions actually gives us clarity in what we want and what we don’t want.
I heard this analogy recently and it solidified the epitome of feeling lost. I will paraphrase the saying but it went along the lines of ‘’ When you’re driving in a car and you are using a satnav and then you take a turn too early or too late, the satnav is always there to reroute you in the right direction for you to reach your destination.’’ In other words, no matter where you are in life, career, or relationships and whoever you believe in whether it’s your higher self, God, or higher source, they will always direct you to your end goal, even if you do take a few turns here and there.
On this blog, I specialise in talking about wellness and continual self-development and I stand by the statements ‘ Self-development is key to uncovering and discovering old and new things about yourself’ and it’s a great experience to undergo. However, if this search turns from being healthy to an unhealthy constant search of finding one’s self, it can end up with someone being exhausted and burnt out.
When we are in a constant battle of over analysing every situation we remove our true self from the experience because we are constantly searching for something that doesn’t need to be altered.
I often see people beat themselves up about habits they want to form but, I am reminding you that you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. What doesn’t help is when you start to blur the lines between developing healthy habits on a self-development journey and an unhealthy habit of searching for something that’s not there.
You wouldn’t dismantle a fully working, functional pen so why do the same to yourself?
We are in a digital era where technology is rapidly moving forward and new social apps keep popping up everywhere. We enter the rabbit hole of aimlessly scrolling through these apps, constantly updating ourselves with the latest news and sharing information with the world to get a response. We are inundated with a unanimous amount of information about the harm our phones are doing to us.
So what can we do to change this worldwide discussion on the negativities about our phones?
It all lies in the intent of using the phone.
The producers of technology thrive from our constant use of technology, have you ever noticed whenever you get a message your phone brightly lights up or when you get a notification the sounds or vibrations lasted a bit longer than usual? Theses are all savvy techniques to keep up connected to our phones and they’ve been planted so in-depth within us, it’s automatic reaction to grab it.
We all fall into this trap including myself. I have a love-hate relationship with my phone because on numerous occasions( too many that I want to admit) I will be using my phone for a particular reason and then all of a sudden my finger has exited out of the thing I was intended to be using and automatically, I unconsciously head over the social apps where I spend an endless amount of hours scrolling through, trying to get to the end of the page; which you’re not able to because the creators want you to keep scrolling. In the end, I feel unproductive and wasted an insane amount of time.
So how do we intentionally use our phone? Here are some daily habits you can do to intentionally use your phone:
Having a habit tracker will enable you to keep a record on how productive and intentional you are doing with your task- I use an app called Habit that sends reminders on healthy habits you would like to form. As you tick off the habit for the day, the percentage goes up and before you realise it will be 100% and you’ve formed a long term healthy habit.
Having a set timer or blocker that helps you stay off your phone can boost your productivity and not heavily rely on your phone for social use.
Don’t use your phone before you go to bed- You will often find yourself not being able to sleep from the brightly lit screen.
Only use your phone for what you need to do!
Create a phone-free zone
Turn your phone upside down, this will help from constantly picking up your phone when a notification arrives.
What are your top tips for using your phone intentionally?
Feed your curiosity. It can lead you to new adventures!
Do you ever feel like you don’t know what your purpose in life is?
Do you struggle with finding a new hobby?
You are not alone! Trying to figure out what you would like to do can be one of the most overwhelming feelings, you don’t know where to start so you google ‘How to find a hobby or how to know what you want to do in life?’ (don’t feel ashamed, we’ve all been there) and then there is an endless list of activities or jobs but, somehow they don’t spark joy within you, so it back to the drawing board.
We always look outwards for answers but sometimes the answers are always within us, our thoughts nudge us in the direction but we choose to ignore it. Have you ever been called to do something but you ignore it and the more you ignore it, the more the thought persists. It’s your intuition telling you to fuel your curiosity and act upon it. When you try something new is always exciting with a hint scary but you always feel better after doing it.
Take me, for example, earlier this year I had a thought about wanting to learn tarot and I wasn’t sure how to so I decided to leave it. A few months later the same persisting thought of learning how to do tarot came up again and this time I acted upon it. Fast forward to the present day and I have a new found love for tarot readings and can spend an endless amount of hours actively doing it and also watching others do it. If I didn’t fuel my curiosity, I wouldn’t be having the enjoyment I have today for a newfound love.
Not every time you fuel your curiosity will you get the result you want but it better to say I am glad for this experience than what if.
If there’s one piece of advice I want you to take away today, it would be this. If you keep getting repeated calling to travel, create a business, study, learn a new activity, move homes or any kind of desire. Act upon it!! You never know where it might take you!
What is toxic behaviour and how to spot it, when it’s you?
When we hear the word toxic it is usually to describe a person who has present different behaviour. Toxicity can be recognised through an individual manipulating, making you feel bad or a toxic habit of some kind. When someone is displaying toxic behaviour, it is noticeable and we try to steer away from them. But, what happens when we are the toxic individual? It is harder to recognise our toxic habits because we have engrained into ourself this is who we are, this makeup of ourselves comes from past trauma or experiences we later project on to others. These patterns become so unrecognisable we are too blind to see it. We might see people slowly walk out of our lives or you hear the same comment about yourself from various people. This is a major sign that you might be displaying toxic behaviour. Toxic behaviour can be in many forms, below I have suggested types of toxic habits people might use.
If you can relate to any of the above habits or recognise other habits within you, then congratulations you are a step further than most people. Becoming aware of something that you have not noticed before brings you in the reflection mode and being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things a person can do. It reveals a hidden truth that you don’t want to admit or did not see. Recognising and being aware of these habits that can often be toxic will allow you to enter the phase of self reflection, self reflection is an on going process, a true and honest way of growing mentally and emotionally. Reflection and adaptation also allows you to create healthier relationships between yourself and others.
Sit down with yourself and identify what toxic behaviours/habits you possess. Once you’ve written that down, think about how this has affected your relationships over the year. Have you heard the same comment about yourself from different people? Be super transparent with yourself, no matter how much it hurts. From the identification stage, it is time to work on changing that pattern that you have become accustomed to.
Nothing comes to you unless you’re super clear with your words and actions. Tell me, what do you want?
I love a good list. I am list mad, shopping list, goals list, to-do list or worklist. Give me something and I will make it into a list. I find that I enjoy ticking off a completed task and reviewing the list with all ticks gives me a feel-good mood.
I also find that writing out exactly what I want helps me get more of a clearer understanding of what I want in the future. This is why I want to share with you the art of scripting.
Scripting is a law of attraction technique, it is about declaring what you want and being detailed in the things you want to see in your future. It is such a simple task that it sounds too simple to be true.
Here’s a question for you… What is the ultimate dream?
How do you want to feel in a year, 2 years, 5 years?
What do you want your life to look like in X amount of years?
You can have it all by simply writing it down and declaring to yourself and the higher power what you truly want. The hack is to be super detailed and specific, if it’s a new car that you want, what colour, shape, what kind of mod-cons do you want in this car? Built-in sat-nav, parking sensor, leather interior?. Be as specific as you can!
Is it a new friendship you want to attract? Do you want this person to be a good communicator, a caring person, a generous person, someone you can be vulnerable with?
The things you want in life is endless and it all starts with a list. MAKE THIS LIST AND THEN LET GO OF THE LIST….Let go? Huh? Yes, let go of the idea. The more you attach to this list, the more you are repelling it from your reality. When you let go and forget the universe works ten folds for you to have it sooner than you think.
I am full living proof that scripting works and is real! In the past, I have scripted a list of what I want my future job, life, friendships to look like and everything on that list has come true. I once made a list and put it somewhere so safe that I couldn’t remember where I placed it and only remember 2 things off the list. Eventually, when I found it( a month later) everything that I wanted came true. A quick disclaimer too, if something doesn’t resonate with you on that list a week later, do not worry because you can always update it. A refresher that you need to know about scripting:
Sit down and truly think about what you want
Reach for the pen and paper in a comfortable place and write down what you want in your life
Be specific and if you don’t know exactly, write down the feelings you want to emanate
Fold the piece of paper up and place it somewhere safe
When one door closes, another door will open. How do you trust the process?
If you’ve ever visited or currently live in London you’ll notice at each station there is a board with a thought of the day consisting of quotes, a riddle or a fun message to spread to the public.
Recently, I saw a quote and the first half struck me, it stated ‘’When one door closes, another one opens’’. And it’s so true. When we don’t get the results we want, we automatically start to think about what we could have done better or different but, we never stop to think that by us not getting that outcome, we are being redirected into the opportunity that is meant for us. As cliche as it sounds, it holds some weight to it. If an opportunity or experience is meant for you, it won’t see you by.
So if you’re feeling knocked back by rejection, consider that you are being aligned to the right thing for you. Trust that everything works in your favour!!
I recently saw this meme on Facebook and it caught my attention and resonated with me.
I remember when starting on my spiritual journey I would be inspired by other women and would question myself as when I was flicking through the endless of positive women, they were all very prim and proper, mind their p’s and q’s and was never sad. I on the hand was the total opposite of that, I go through emotions, I occasionally swear, dance and very sociable but, I also like to be an introvert and have my alone time with just me and a book. I believed the universe wouldn’t communicate with me because I wasn’t all the things I was ‘supposed’ to be.
It got to a point where I would hide my life on the internet so I appeared to fit into the social norm of being a ‘spiritual woman’. Now looking back I realise that it was utter BS, there is no definition of what a spiritual person needs to look or act like. Everyone’s definition of their spiritual growth is different, there is no one way. I was feeding into the notion of something that did not represent me, I was living a lie.
I ended up having a pep talk with myself and vouched from now on to always live my truth, people are going to judge and it’s ok, they don’t know my worth and I don’t need to prove to them. I can be all those things above and still be living accustomed to a spiritual life that is for me, that connects me with the universe. All that matters is the levelling I continue to possess, will lead me into the multi-faceted woman I have always seen within me. Stay Grounded X
When was the last time you listened and took your own advice?
The definition of trust is a ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of something or someone’. The word is normally given to an external source
We gain trust through life experiences and people.
What is the definition of listening,’ to give one’s attention to a sound’. The two terms trust and listening go hand in hand when experiencing any situation in life.
I want to talk about how we openly listen and trust others but find it hard to listen and trust our inner voice. Here’s an example, When you need answers to a specific question, the first answer is found within you. You listen to the receiving answer, but sometimes the answer is not that convincing, so you seek further answers from other sources, usually people you trust(it’s that word again). You go to that trusted person and they tell you the same answer you told yourself earlier. You take on that advice and have more faith in the decision.
But, why did you not listen and trust yourself in beginning to know that you were already making the right decision for you?
We are all guilty of this! It’s a natural habit to some of us when we need guidance that we are doing the right things. Our intuition is there for a reason, it’s there to communicate with you and to hear the message you need to listen.
To understand how to sharpen your mind and learn to listen and trust your intuition there are a few things that can help you along the way:
The most effortless one is to simply listen. Sit still and listen to what your mind and body are telling you. That will give you a big indicator of how you are feeling towards your question. It can come in many forms a feeling, a sound or lyrics in a song.
Understand when you are feeling negative, it can cloud your judgement
Trust the feelings you get, they are there to protect you
When receiving the right message, you will fee feel calm with a sense of knowing
Do you ever feel like the days are just on a constant loop and you don’t know what day or month it is but, you know you are exhausted? This constant loop can manifest physically and mentally and is a tale-tell sign to slow down.
Today post is in collaboration with Jess of Earth and we are going to share our experience on what are self-care routine is when we need to slow down. Be sure to check her routine after.
I feel like a self-care routine is needed every night, even if some days are busier than others, it’s a great way to let your body relax and get into its natural rhythm. To get me back into the flow of things I do a few things, one of my favourite things is to immerse myself in a book especially a fiction book. Fiction books allow me to get out of my head and into a place of imagination and wonder. Currently, I am reading Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mande and every time I open that book I let go of the outside world and submerge in the world of post-apocalyptic ( I won’t spoil it for you but, I do recommend you read it).
After I read, I start to do a bit of yoga and meditation as I’ve been stuck in one position for a long time. When we are constantly on the go our bodies get tensed because we are constantly on the go, but by introducing yoga at the end of the day, it has helped me get those knots and kinks out of my body so I can feel relaxed and free. I often incorporate meditation once my body feels light after yoga, as the mind and body works as one.
If I am out and about and I can’t do the above activities, I will either phone a loved one to just take my mind off of everything and seek advice. Another thing I enjoy is walking in nature, it’s like letting go of everything and just being able to focus on the present and what I see around me.
What is your favourite way to unwind and slow down? Comment below